I have all my life given over my right to how I feel to others. In one way or another when I expressed my feelings someone told me I was wrong to feel that way. I was initially hurt, but then accepted their judgement. And slowly I gave away every last little bit of my agency. Either allowing or forcing other people to dictate everything, down to how I should feel about something. As a cute little boy in Florida says "What the heck?!"
This reminded me of an exit I passed a few times in Georgia. I would always tease it was the exit to nowhere, or anywhere you wanted, because of the giant gap in the middle. And really, that's a lot like our lives. We are moving along and have the ability to choose where that exit is going to take us. It is our literal God given priviledge to choose where our life takes us, be it good or bad. And when we are starting to let others fill in our exit signs for us, we are giving away the only thing that was truly ours to begin with, our agency.
And I had taken the route of letting others around me make the decisions for me. And the few times I chose for myself I would let them make me feel horrible for it, like I had betrayed them. Because I had chosen to let others dictate how I felt about my actions.
And that's not our Heavenly Father's plan for us at all. Each of us is given our agency and has the right to own up to our choices and know that they are ours.
So my project for the week is to make my decisions FOR MYSELF. And express how I feel about things FOR MYSELF and not let anyone guilt me into feeling any other way. I realize that if I don't change that I am heading the path of many women who sometimes find themselves in abusive relationships.
Will you be the change with me and either start taking back your gift of agency from those you gave it to, or help someone in your life that may feel like they no longer hold that gift for themself?